Another graduation year is upon us, and that means - in keeping with a tradition that dates back some five years - it's time again for my annual commencement address.

Every year, I dedicate a column to this address as a way to help inspire today's youth. So, with that in mind, I now will share with you my address: 108 Pickwick St., Sheffield, AL 35660.

I LOVE that joke! I do it every year, and it never gets old! At least, to me it doesn't.

Anyway, here are some tips for speakers on delivering a good address. First, start with a warm welcome:

"Welcome graduates, fellow parents, honorable teachers, well wishers, and those who are just here for the free food at the reception."

Then, you warm them up with a joke (Note: it is not recommended to use a limerick, and if you do, avoid any that start out by talking about anyone from "Nantucket").

Now that you have the audience warmed up, speak directly to the graduates, giving them a warm congratulations.

Here's one I recommend:

"Way to go, graduates! By taking this step, you soon will be out in the real world. Before long, you'll be an adult and will make a positive impression on the world while engaging in a fulfilling life."

Here's one I don't

recommend:

"Way to go, graduates! By taking this step, you soon will be out in the real world. Before long, you'll be an adult. You'll get married, have kids and you and your spouse will work like dogs all week, every week, just to make ends meet so you can afford to send your kids to college to get a degree so they can get a job that will allow them to work like dogs all week, every week, just to make ends meet so they can send your grandkids to college but they still won't have enough money to do so, so you'll have to help pay their way, which means that the retirement you thought was so close actually is farther away and you'll probably die before getting there."

Now that you've inspired them by letting them know what a wonderful future they're in for, you conclude by sending them out with some philosophical statement, such as:

"Remember, it's a long and winding road, and the road less traveled can be a rocky road to success, so walk the straight and narrow road while keeping your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars, like Casey Kasem used to say at the end of every episode of "American Top 40," and did you know he also was the voice of Shaggy in those Scooby-Doo cartoons?"

Anytime you can work Scooby-Doo into a speech, you'll have one memorable address. Feel free to steal that one from me. But you can't have the 108 Pickwick St. address. I'll need that one for my Graduation 2009 column.

"Bernie's World" runs Saturdays in the TimesDaily. Bernie Delinski can be reached at 740-5739 or bernie.delinski@timesdaily.com.