“Well, after the State of the Union Address, it’s clear how Mr. Obama is going to deal with illegal aliens. He’s going to make the economy so unworkable and the United States so poor that nobody in their right mind would try to sneak in to work.”

“This is in response to the letter to the editor in Tuesday’s paper about the ladies dying in childbirth. My mother was a lady who helped deliver babies all of my life as a little girl growing up. She never had any woman to die for the deliveries that she helped deliver. As far as her talking about the men having a jolly life and getting to remarry, I think when your wife dies under any circumstances — or a husband — the spouse that’s left behind has a right to have another life.”

“This unemployment and global recession is really getting out of hand. I see now where they’ve had to lay off the pope.”

“When are the people of this country going to realize that Barack Hussein Obama is not for this country. He’s doing everything he can to destroy it. And if people don’t open up their eyes and see that all this pretty talk that he does when he’s running for the presidency, and just as soon as he’s sworn in he goes right back to his bad, evil ways. This man is out to destroy America and he’s doing a darn good job because the people are sitting back and allowing it to happen.”

“I think these daytime running lights on automobiles, they’re about the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of. And, also, the bright lights at night when I meet oncoming cars on a two-lane highway, they blind me to where I almost run off the road. But who could think that daytime running lights are a good thing? It’s ridiculous.”

“You know, in the question is the country going in the right overall direction, and by President Obama saving the auto industry and ending two ridiculous wars, getting health care where people don’t actually have to die, they can go to a doctor, I noticed it looked like overwhelmingly the people here in Alabama voted no, it’s not going in the right direction. Apparently, they want George Bush’s direction of going more in debt. It reminds me of the immortal words of Gomer Pyle, ‘surprise, surprise, surprise.’ That’s the way Alabama people think.”